wrigley field is MILF paradise
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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