That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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