I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
