it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
