i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
