He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
