wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I lost the right to judge tonight
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
