I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
