He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
