I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
