well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
