I'm drive I can fine osifer
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize