Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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