Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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