He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
