Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
