let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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