Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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