Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize