we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
