dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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