its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
