If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
