I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish my penis had an off switch
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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