I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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