Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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