I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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