there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
