i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
