I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
