So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
vagina is talking i cant
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
