so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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