I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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