I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
