guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
