If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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