I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
a search helicopter?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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