shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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