I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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