So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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