You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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