If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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