do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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