I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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