I cockslap morals
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
