Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
