I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
