So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
