the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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