Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
