I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
