Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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