The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He shit in the fireplace
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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