So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
