Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize