If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
