operation harelip BJ is a go
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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