I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
