Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
