You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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