just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
