chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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