this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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