is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
