im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I deserve this hangover.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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