Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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