I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
