The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
