there's paper in my vomit.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
