I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
