how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
