distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
